


watching stars

by HalfEmptty



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Character Study, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-23 07:08:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18148706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalfEmptty/pseuds/HalfEmptty
Summary: Every seems to have fallen around him. Thor takes a moment.//little character study thing about Thor kinda processing loosing his father, his home etc in Ragnarok.





	watching stars

The longer he stares into the empty sky, the more he can see. 

Blurry shapes start to fill the darkness, obscured and warped by the cloudiness of his eye. They're the kind of shapes you see when you stare at something for too long, patterns and complications that exist in your mind and nowhere else. It starts at such. They're all bittersweet and make-believe until his vision adjusts again, and millions of tiny bright flecs seem to sprout across the endless black. 

Stars. Lots and lots of stars. 

Thor sighs. His breath leaves his lips like it’s alive, a soft cloud of vapour dancing into the air. The ground underneath him is warm, though the air is chilling in hard contrast. He must be in a part of the ship with bad air heating. He makes a mental note to speak to someone about that. 

The room is a small one, probably constructed and meant for extra storage or something. It's hard to tell, as it's completely void of all personality except for the sky-light on the ceiling, a wide window that had been holding Thor's interest for half an hour. Lying, static on the ground with every muscle in his body relaxed and limp feels so calming. At the same time, it's painful. Staring up into the nothing. Thinking about planets and galaxies far, far away, where there will surely be lands without war and places free of weakness. *Surely*. The precipice, the *idea* that war is always inevitable is so believable, so clear, though even the thought of it makes his stomach clench. He knows the reality of it. The reality of everything. It doesn't stop him hoping that there's a paradise out there where they don't have a care in the world. What a life to live. 

Ridges of the metal floor dig into his back, and his eye waters as it tries to focus properly. The space where his other should be doesn't hurt overwhelmingly, but it hurts enough to distract him from the sudden presence of someone else entering the room. 

“What are you doing?” 

He jumps. Instinctually, his head snaps to the side, and he ends up seeing exactly who he should have expected. His brother in all his stupid glory, leaning slightly against the doorframe with his scraggly raven hair falling down his face. He's looking uncharacteristically solem, dim light from the hallway illuminating half of his face, so it's clearer to make out his frown. 

Thor chuckles through gritted teeth. 

“You didn't need to make me jump like that,” he grumbles, his voice echoing off the walls. 

“Wasn't my fault.”

Loki offers a smile that half makes him uneasy, and half makes him want to smile too. He responds with a huff, folding his arms and looking back up at the ceiling. He isn't in the mood. 

A moment passes, though he can still sense his brother shuffling in the doorway. He half finds it comforting. He half finds it incomprehensibly annoying. Letting out a soft sigh, his eye flicks to the side. 

“What do you want, Loki?” he mumbles finally into the silence. His patience wears thin, and all he wants to do is look at the stars, or go to sleep forever. Preferably both. Sometimes life is so confusing. 

“I just…” his words falter a little- if Loki's words can even falter. They are still as confident and clear as always- he just makes himself a space of silence that Thor reads as doubt. “I was just wondering where you were.”

It's good to think that he cares. He's shown that he must care to *some* capacity in recent events. If not for the last few hundred years of their lives, Thor may have even been silly enough to trust him. Maybe one day. 

“Well, you've found me, “ he replies airily, amusement in his tone. “I wasn't really trying.”

“Of course not.” 

He turns his head again, rolling his eye round to see him properly. He's smiling again, blue eyes catching the light. 

“You're laughing because I'm lying on the floor,” Thor suddenly uncodes, lines creasing in his forehead. He doesn't have it in him, however, to be ashamed. He'll lie on the floor if he wants. 

“I'm always laughing at you,” Loki replies smoothly. Thor has to clench all the muscles in his body to not to smile. It's easy conversation, for once. It feels good. “But… I hope you're well.”

The brief happiness dies down, simmering in his stomach suddenly as he processes the man's words. They are genuine and steady. 

“Well? Do you think I'm well?” 

He doesn't speak maliciously. The words break the air softly, laced with a genuine curiosity as he wonders- how much is Loki really affected by it all? By father? The man who lied to him his whole life- is he hurt about his passing? What about Asgard, the place he grew up- his *home*. He asks, because he's curious, and he realises quickly that he's afraid of the answer. Earlier that day, that *hectic*, crazy day, he'd been ready to let him go, but now he isn't so sure if he is. He wants Loki to care. He does. That's what families do. 

Slowly, his chest begins to clench up, thick with all the insane emotions he'd been riding for the last twenty four hours. He used to be really good at hiding them, but now he's not so sure. Somehow, he suddenly realises that he's never been good at repressing his emotions at all. 

“No,” Loki finally replies, quiet and unsure. It's a new sound on him, and Thor likes it. He's tired of him sauntering around with his head up his ass, thinking he knows everything. “But I think you will be.” 

A smile tickles his lips, finally. 

Maybe he's right. Not now. Maybe one day, maybe across the sky where the happy people reside. Maybe it isn't a dream at all, maybe their fate *is* one with peace. He lets his eye slide close, forcing himself to think of such a place instead of mourning over the present. The present cannot be changed. All there is to do now is go forward. 

“Maybe we can find our peace one day, brother,” he mumbles. “Where the sun shines a little brighter. Just a little bit. It's all I'd ask.”

It comes as a great comfort to hear Loki stand his ground, the two of them alone in the silent room for another few minutes until he finally walks away. Thor watches the stars.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first try at writing Thor, I decided to write him since I love his present MCU iteration so, so much. Also hope I did Loki a little bit of justice, too. Tell me what you think, yeet


End file.
